'Twas The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a broker was churning, as they were home with a spouse;
The stocks had been researched and purchased with care,
In hopes that high returns soon would be there.

Investors were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of ten baggers danced in their heads.
The Investopedia Staff had done their week-long preach,
But they hadn't yet run out of things to teach.

When on CNBC there arose such a clatter,
Investors sprang from their chairs to see what was the matter.
Up to the TV they flew like a flash,
To hear the latest rumors and political trash.

The analyst picks - a normal part of the show;
But smart investors knew it was all so much blow.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But Warren Buffett, with something for investors to hear.

His eyes, how they twinkled with savvy and wit,
It was clear that his insight would be a smash hit.
More rabid than eagles his listeners they came,
And he bellowed, and shouted, and called out by name:

"Now, Stocks! Now, Bonds! Now, REITs and Mutuals!
On Options! On Futures! On Technicals and Fundamentals!
To the top of the world! And to prevent a great fall,
Diversify! Diversify! Diversify All!"

The market fluctuates, but long term it will fly,
When met with uncertainty, you should diversify;
Ignore the picks and advice, even from Uncle Hugh,
Forget the day to day, you have better things to do.

And then, in an email, just what should arrive?
The sound of a hot issue, making hearts come alive!
Investors shivered and shook and saw all green,
Then realized the truth: IPOs return pretty lean.

The life of a broker, the fortune and fame,
"Leave it to the expert!" you heard him exclaim.
A bundle of "wisdom" they have in their bags,
Promising you they'll make riches from rags.

But with his empty promises and occasional skim,
Are you sure you should leave your finances to him?
His fees are steep (but he seemed so credible),
"Stick with me," he announced, "it'll be unforgettable!"

But quickly you thought, like a smart little elf,
"This doesn't seem hard ... I could do it myself!"
Theres a spark in your eye - you know it won't be easy,
But the lines from your broker just sounded so cheesy.

The broker just laughed, as you gave him a "NO!"
But you know that your skills will make your cash grow.
He ranted and raved as he stomped on the floor,
"Good luck!" he sneered, "You know nothing of this chore!"

Out the door he ran and drove off in his Beemer,
But don't worry my friend, you are not just a dreamer.
With a visit to Investopedia, you are starting it right,
"So Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night!"

To read more articles on Christmas, see The Frosty, Festive World Of Investing and Holiday Gifts For Financial Geeks.