Martin Shkreli, I'm really happy for you, I'mma let you finish, but you might be one of the weirdest CEOs of all time. Of all time.

Is it really that bad that a disgraced ex-CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals offered $10 million dollars to Kanye West for the exclusive rights to the latter's new album "The Life of Pablo"? Probably not, but it does give rise to some questions, starting with why you thought $10 million was an attractive offer for rights to the album in perpetuity.

Second, a compliment of sorts. I assume you know that the first line of your letter to Kanye is also the first line of the Rolling Stones song "Sympathy for the Devil." Well played.

Maybe it's unkind of the media to skewer you for this particular Kanye offer, but let's be fair, there are some circumstances unique to your situation. First of all, you're already known for buying things for the sole purpose of preventing people from having them (hello, Wu-Tang Clan album) and you admit that you are intentionally delaying the release of Kanye's album.

Second, your decision to jack up the price of a life-saving AIDS drug by 5,400% made you kind of unpopular; third, you're being investigated for alleged securities fraud, and; fourth, your lawyer was so embarrassed by you that he told the media on no uncertain terms that you are "not making any more statements. Zero."

And who told you it was a good idea to videotape a threat to recording artist Ghostface Killah? Oh, DUH, my bad, it's clearly an audition tape. Please pass on @optionmonster's suggestions to your agent.

So yeah. In the Shkreli universe, trying to buy a Kanye album is pretty unremarkable behavior. But when your lawyer tells you to keep your mouth shut, does he have to spell it out for you that maybe this includes not stalking Kanye with what may be as many as 1,000 Twitter direct messages? No, there is no hard evidence that you sent 1,000 DMs to Kanye. But, as other news sources have pointed out, Twitter caps the number of DMs you can send someone at 1,000, and you were whining on Twitter that you had hit the DM ceiling. So, transitive property, etc. User @kwiatek offers what is probably not the worst advice you have ever received (to buy Twitter and make your own rules about DM limits). Except that presumably you'd only buy a social network to make it unusable by anyone except yourself. Of course, solipsism, as they say, is its own reward.

Final thought. Who are you asking for "Help!" here? Are you being held hostage and being forced to make these bizarre-o Tweets at gunpoint? Because actually, that would make sense.

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